My Testimony

He gave His life for me so I could live.


How to Start Over…and Smile

As I was watching the movie Internship, it made me think about my experience starting over which led me to search for  For King and Country’s song “Fix My Eyes”.

Video by zmzhong7

 I love this song! It really speaks to my life after being born again and it was a song I heard not long after God called me out of the classroom to go into ministry.  The words to this song are amazing because it’s a message to self acknowledging the way I was is no longer how I can be. Going forward, I will fix my eyes on Jesus.

“See, the former things have taken place, and new things I declare; before they spring into being I announce them to you.” Isaiah 42:9

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:18-19

Reading these scriptures help me remember how far God as brought me. I can recall, a year ago as I was walking through the airport in Arizona with tears streaming down my face, I was so disappointed and sad to leave teaching internationally to return home. (Little did I know but God was getting ready to completely change my life for the better but, in order to do so it meant I had to let go of the life I was living to receive the new one He was offering.) In the final weeks of the school year, I heard God call me back home to Kansas. It was one of those moments where I was glad to hear Him speak but I did not like what He had to say (hey, just being honest). I wanted Him to speak to me and lead me but I wanted something different, more pleasant, fun or at least let me know for how long but no, I was just called home. As a sat there waiting for my flight, I began chatting with two other ladies and the tears continued to fall, partly out of sadness but they were also the result of fear. The ladies were kind and asked what was wrong, so I shared with them I was headed home after being gone for 9 years, how I felt like a failure for having to go home, I did not have a job lined up and now I would have to move back home after just spending the last year living on my own. Both ladies were super sweet, telling me things would be okay and to trust God. One lady proceeded to tell me how she had done the same thing years before and she was only home for a short time, met her now husband, has children and completely appreciates that time she spent back at home. Her words gave me hope, I then began to reason with God making a request for the life this lady had while still struggling with reality.

After the ladies and I went our separate ways and I carried their words of encouragement with me, hoping to be able to relate to them one day. As I continued on my journey, I passed by a shop with this magnet:

I thought…what? Why would a caterpillar think the world is over? Does it not know what is suppose to happen after it stays in the crysalis? But as I questioned this magnet I also prayed Lord I hope I become a buttefly and after I prayed, I purchased the magnet. **Now at first thought, it clearly states it was a proverb, this is not a scripture nor a divine visit from an angel but it spoke to me (plus, Paul’s letters were just letters until they became the New Testament).

Well, I made it home and that is when I first heard this song, then I read those scriptures for the first time and I hung this magnet up in my room. I was bound and determined things would get better on the other end of this trip home. They just had to get better! For the first six months, I thought about leaving every day and the many ways I could “escape”. It was not easy to start over especially because there were things in my old life I truly enjoyed but the more I read, prayed, worshipped and focused on the positives of being back home, the happier I became. (I shifted my thinking. See Counting My Blessings and Gratitude Journals)  Even when I could not see what was ahead, I fixed my eyes on Jesus until I could see what God was having me reach toward because Isaiah says, “forgetting those things which are behind and reaching for those things which are ahead.”

Now as I prepare for my next season, I listen to  “Soar” by Meredith Andrews because after being called to start over, I entered a season of waiting.  I can truly say it has been a blessing though, I have learned so many new things, I can apply new knowledge to keep from repeating the old mistakes, I have had time back home to tell people thank you for what they had done for me (Luke 17:11-19) and I have been preparing for the new things God is about to do in my life (Isaiah 42:9; 43:18-19). I joined a financial planning course rooted in scripture with Crown Financial, I joined a new church, wandered into a singles ministry which is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING and have gone back to school to prepare to go into ministry.

Whether life caused you to begin again or you feel led to make a change, starting over is a BLESSING! It is a second chance (for some it may be the seventeenth chance) but Glory to GOD for the opportunity. Starting over is a good thing because this time we will soar and that is something worth smiling about!

Thanks for reading, I hope you were encouraged. Be blessed!


Video by Made New Media